Senior Humor
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Those of us who spend much time in a doctor's office should appreciate this! Doesn't it seem more and more that physicians are running their practices like an assembly line? Here's what happened to Bubba:
Bubba walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Bubba said: 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.
Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Bubba what he had.
Bubba said, 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Bubba to wait in the examining room.
A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, 'Shingles.' So the nurse gave Bubba a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Bubba to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.
An hour later the doctor came in and found Bubba sitting patiently in the nude and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, 'Shingles.' The doctor asked, 'Where?'
Bubba said, 'Outside on the truck. Where do you want me to unload 'em??'
Recognize these guys?
Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for
my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog, and was in the checkout line when woman
behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to
do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina
Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital
last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care
ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works
is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every
time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I
was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in
line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in
intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a
curb to sniff an Irish Setter and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so
hard. Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to
think of crazy things to say.
Anonymous, for obvious reasons.
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